Opinions are divided about this. While one person absolutely goes for friendship for life, the other also has friendships that last. Can one be qualified as more or less than the other? Opinions are also divided on this, but what really matters is how to maintain a good friendship… short or long-term.
Basic principles
The basic premise for friendship is honesty. Even if you have to say something that is less pleasant and you know that you may have to disappoint your friend. Then it turns out that something often goes wrong there. Lives differ and although as friends you of course have things in common, everyone lives their own life. Sometimes there is no time for something because you have other obligations. But it may also just not feel like it, because you have had a hectic week. Don’t beat around the bush and speak it out, but then come up with an alternative.
It could also be about something a friend bought that you really don’t like. Disappointing an enthusiastic friend is no fun and you have to wonder whether you should call it a day . Sometimes a subtle choice of words is not wrong, but that does not alter the fact that you should still be honest about it when your opinion is asked. Be honest and clear, but consider what your choice of words can bring about (if it is something negative). Choose your words carefully, because it adds nothing to your friend by using a harsh choice of words to unnecessarily hurt your friend.
Stay with yourself
What matters is that you should always approach something from a place of love and friendship, especially if what you have to report is less pleasant, but stay close to yourself. Gentle healers make stinking wounds, so giving a wide berth to the answer in words or saying something different than you want to say is never good. Just formulate your words well and that doesn’t just apply to friendships.
Let everyone think for themselves
It sounds so obvious, respecting everyone and allowing everyone to think for themselves about certain situations. Yet the reality is that many people think for others. On the one hand, it may have to do with the fact that you simply think faster and form your opinion as your friend and on the other hand, it may be that you fill in what you think he/she is going to say (or what you would like him/her to say). she is going to say).
It may also be that your friend is in a certain mood and you think you know why, not to mention the situation you think your friend is in, without even talking about this. For example, a broken relationship means you have to take your friend along and do fun things with them. The question is, if you don’t ask that friend about it, it could be that he/she doesn’t feel like it at all.
Empathetic
Empathy is good, but this often goes so far that the entire feeling is taken over and you experience, for example, the pain of your friend. The motto is to have fun crying together, but if you wanted to help your friend by crying along, you are generally not really helping him/her. Realize where the sadness comes from and how sorry you are for him/her, but leave the sadness where it is. You can’t take over anyway, but you can support it. Sometimes an arm around a shoulder is supportive enough.
Or the opposite, for example, that you say something out of enthusiasm, while it is a sensitive point for your friend. Now take a desired pregnancy. That is certainly something you want to share with your friend, but if things just aren’t working out in that other relationship, it is more useful to make it more subtle. A spontaneous text message or call is slightly less useful than bringing something like that face-to-face and immediately seeing what it does to your friend. It is easier to respond to this.
Different types of friendship
If you think about how a friendship can go, every friendship is real and valuable and the duration of the friendship is not even relevant. A short but close friendship where friends play each other through a bad time can be just as valuable as a friendship from high school. The friendship may be different, but one is not more valuable than the other. What is important in every friendship is how you feel as a person. Honest, sincere, clear, etc. are all things that determine whether and, if so, how a friendship gains depth (or not).