Test conflicts – How do you deal with conflicts or disagreements

Everyone has conflicts in everyday life. It is about how you deal with conflicts. You can avoid or avoid conflicts or potential conflicts, or you can enter into confrontation or fight. You can keep the peace, adapt completely, or negotiate, cooperate and compromise. There are therefore different conflict coping strategies or coping styles or ways to handle conflict or make it manageable. Take the conflict coping test and see how you handle conflicts.

Conflict coping test

The test was developed by the psychologist Kilmann and contains items related to dealing with conflicts. Coping is the style of dealing with a situation. Or in other words: which style or strategy you apply in certain situations. Conflict coping can also be referred to as conflict management or formulated differently: how do you deal with conflicts?

Score for handling conflict and disagreement

The scores on the questionnaire give you a (global) insight into your personal way of responding to conflicts or (strong) disagreements. The questionnaire does not provide a deep personality analysis, but it does provide an indication of how you generally deal with conflicts. The list contains 30 pairs of statements; each statement has an A and B option. When answering, it is best to imagine situations in which your goals or ideas are different or deviate from those of someone else (in the same circumstances or situation).

For each item pair, you are supposed to indicate which statement (A or B) is most characteristic or recognizable for you. It may happen that you do not fully recognize yourself in both statements A and B. Then try to answer anyway and circle the statement that comes closest or seems most likely. There are no right or wrong answers. It concerns your behavior or coping style regarding dealing with conflicts in general. One style is not necessarily better than the other.

Print out or write it down

With this test the intention is actually to complete the items in writing and it is better to print out the questionnaire. If you want to do it directly from the screen, it is useful to put the answers you selected on paper.
For the items below, circle only one statement from each pair: A or B.

Test conflict management (conflict coping)

01	a	There are times when I leave the responsibility to the other person to solve problems.
	b	I would rather continue on the aspects on which we agree than to negotiate on points of difference.

02	a	I’m looking for a compromise.
	b	I try to do justice to both my own interests and those of others.

03	a	I usually try to stick firmly to my own goals.
	b	I try to spare the other person’s feelings and keep our relationship intact.

04	a	I’m trying to find a compromise.
	b	Sometimes I sacrifice my own interests for the benefit of others.

05	a	I try to get the other person’s help in finding a solution.
	b	I do what is necessary to avoid tension.

06	a	I avoid causing myself trouble.
	b	I try to let my goals be considered.

07	a	I try to postpone the problem until I’ve had time to think about it properly.
	b	I give up something if the other person does the same.

08	a	I usually try to stick strongly to my goals.
	b	I try to disclose all issues and interests immediately.

09	a	I don’t think you should always worry about differences.
	b	I do my best to get my way.

10	a	I try to stick strongly to my goals.
	b	I’m trying to find a compromise solution.

11	a	I try to disclose all issues and interests immediately.
	b	I try to spare the other person’s feelings and keep our relationship intact.

12	a	Sometimes I avoid taking a position that could create a controversy.
	b	I agree with the other person on a certain point if the other person also does the same with regard to me.

13	a	I propose intermediate solutions.
	b	I’m pushing my points.

14	a	I tell the other person my ideas and I ask the other person’s.
	b	I try to convince the other person of the logic and benefits of my position.

15	a	I try to spare the other person’s feelings and keep our relationship intact.
	b	I do what is necessary to avoid tension.

16	a	I try not to hurt the other person’s feelings.
	b	I try to convince the other person of the benefits of my position.

17	a	I usually try to stick strongly to my goals.
	b	I try to do what is necessary to avoid tensions.

18	a	If it makes the other person happy, then mine can stick to their views.
	b	I agree with the other person on a number of points if the other person also agrees with me.

19	a	I try to disclose all issues and interests immediately.
	b	I try to postpone the problem until I’ve had time to think about it properly.

20	a	I immediately try to discuss our differences.
	b	I am looking for a fair division of profit and loss points for both of us.

21	a	When talking about differences, I try to take the wishes and needs of the other person into account.
	b	I am trying to come to a direct discussion of the problem.

22	a	I look for a point of view that lies between that of the other person and my own.
	b	I try to safeguard my interests.

23	a	I am often busy trying to meet all wishes.
	b	There are times when I leave the other person the responsibility to solve the problems.

24	a	If the other person has desires and attaches great importance to them, I try to meet them.
	b	I try to persuade the other person to compromise.

25	a	I try to convince the other person of the logic and benefits of my position.
	b	When talking about differences, I try to take the other person’s wishes and desires into account.

26	a	I propose intermediate solutions.
	b	I almost always try to meet both our wishes.

27	a	Sometimes I do not take a position that could cause a controversy.
	b	If it makes the other person happy, I think the other person can hold on to their own points of view.

28	a	I usually try to stick firmly to my own goals.
	b	I ask the other person for help to solve the problem.

29	a	I propose an intermediate solution.
	b	I don’t think you should always worry about differences.

30	a	I try not to hurt the other person’s feelings.
	b	I always discuss problems with the other person to find a solution together.

Score table

Circle the answer (A or B) you gave above for each item. Then add the number of circled letters per column (vertical row) and enter this as the score at the bottom of the table.

Item	Push through	Dissolve	Compromise	Avoid	Go along
01				a	b
02		b	a
03	a				b
04			a		b
05		a		b
06	b			a
07			b	a
08	a	b
09	b			a
10	A		B
11		A			B
12			B	A
13	B		A
14	B	A
15				B	A
16	B				A
17	A			B
18			B		A
19		A		B
20		A	B
21		B			A
22	b		a
23		a		b
24			b		a
25	a				b
26		b	a
27				a	b
28	a	b
29			a	b
30		b			a
Score	Push through	Dissolve	Compromise	Avoid	Go along

Conflict coping styles

Being able to negotiate well and fairly and being prepared to reach a just solution or compromise is important in conflict management and conflict resolution. The following concepts correspond to conflict coping styles:

Push through – Fight
Solve – Collaborate
Compromise – Negotiation
Avoid – Avoid
Go along – Adjust

Test – Are you Righteous?
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Test – Are you good at negotiating?
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