Fear is an individual’s physiological and motor response to danger. Fear helps the individual to survive. When is fear in a child a reason to seek help? I will answer this question in this article. I describe the cognitive development of the child, which fears belong to which stage of the child’s life and how this can be explained, when fear is really a problem and how your type of upbringing can cause the fear.
Cognitive development
To better understand your child’s fears, I will describe the stages of cognitive development below.
The sensorimotor phase
This phase runs from zero to two years. In this phase your child learns to control his/her reflexes. Your child develops his/her senses, motor skills and memory in this phase.
The preoperational phase
The preoperational stage lasts from two to six years. In this phase your child learns to think in symbols. For example, if he/she sees your car key, he/she knows that this key is related to the car. In other words: objects acquire meaning. This is also the phase in which your child learns to speak and refines his/her motor skills.
The concrete operational phase
This phase runs from six to twelve years. In this stage your child will begin to understand cause-and-effect relationships. Your child also develops a conscience that helps him/her understand rules. At school your child learns to organize, count and calculate.
The formal operational phase
The formal operational phase is from the age of twelve. In this phase your child develops spatial thinking, abstract thinking and learns to think logically and draw conclusions.
Anxiety by age phase
Children from 0 to 6 months
Children in this age phase show physiological responses to environmental stimuli:
- Sudden and loud noises
- The loss of support
Possible explanation
This can be explained by an unconditioned response to an unconditioned stimulus. In other words, the child is startled because he/she is not yet used to these stimuli.
Children from 7 months
- Fear of strangers
- Separation anxiety (the fear of being separated from the parent(s))
Possible explanation
The child notices the difference between what is perceived (a stranger) and the cognitive structure already present (image of the mother). A child’s attachment behavior provides an evolutionary advantage to the individual. And children increasingly say no and may be afraid of being abandoned by their parents.
Children in toddler and preschool age
- Divorce of parents
- Animals
- Appliances, for example vacuum cleaners
- Wash and/or cut hair
- The dark
- Storm
Possible explanation
Children aged 2 to 6 cannot yet distinguish between fantasy and reality. Logical thinking is still developing. Children can become anxious about their own fantasies and when they do not understand something properly.
Children of primary school age
- Ghosts, witches
- Injury
- Storm
- Divorce of parents
- Sleeping alone
- Fear of certain news events
- Death
- Fear of social disapproval
- Fear of failure
Possible explanation:
Your child can imagine situations due to his/her more developed cognitive ability. The child’s conscience develops more and more. And failures, for example due to excessive demands, can cause fear of failure.
Children in the adolescence phase
- Fear of social disapproval
- Fear of failure
- Fear of making choices
Possible explanation
In order to develop their own identity, an individual first goes through a period of confusion and doubt. From the age of 12, the capacity for critical self-reflection arises. Also, one’s own feelings, behavior and (physical) qualities are sometimes analyzed and assessed in a fanatical manner. This can lead to uncertainty.
When is anxiety a problem?
Anxiety is part of normal development, but if your child’s anxiety is not part of his/her developmental stage, or becomes so prevalent that it hinders normal functioning and development, help is needed.
Fear and education
If you place too few demands on your child’s upbringing, your child may become anxious because he/she notices that he/she receives no help in controlling his/her own impulses.
If you place too many demands on your child’s upbringing, your child may develop feelings of guilt and fear of abandonment. He/she then has the feeling that he/she cannot meet your requirements.
If there is overprotection in your child’s upbringing, this can actually lead to more anxiety in your child. Your child does not learn to deal with anxious situations. When all fears are justified, the child is less able to prepare for fearful situations and is less able to develop in these types of situations.