When we are abandoned, the grief of separation often strikes mercilessly. It paralyzes us and turns even everyday things into insurmountable challenges. But that’s not necessary! Ten useful tips on how to overcome the pain of a divorce.
Distance yourself from your ex
,Shall we remain friends?, No! Keep your distance immediately after the separation. No matter how much you miss your ex and no matter how much you grieve for him, you should neither call him, email him, nor make any other attempts to reconnect. No matter how desperate and sad you are, all you need to overcome the pain of divorce is time. Time for yourself to sort out your thoughts and get back down to earth.
Process your grief without an ex
,How are you now?, Do you often hear this question from your ex? Probably not, because he actually doesn’t want to know about your sadness at all. Asking you how you feel would only result in loss for your ex. If things aren’t going well for you, it might gnaw at his bad conscience. If, on the other hand, you answer that you can hardly do better, then he really feels bad.
Start every day with a clean slate
Although the grief of divorce will gnaw at you every day, don’t let it discourage you. Avoid planning ahead for a longer period of time during this phase, even though you might have done so with your partner. On the other hand, take everything day by day. Take care of one thing at a time that you urgently want to get done and then treat yourself to something that makes you feel good. This way you can be satisfied with yourself every day and at the same time find welcome variety.
Dealing with the pain of a divorce with exercise
Do sports! It is not necessarily necessary to complete a Tour de France right away, but a little exercise, preferably daily, is guaranteed to do you good and help with your heartbreak. Not only your health but also your appearance and therefore your self-confidence will benefit from your activity.
Stay attractive
Under no circumstances allow yourself to be neglected! Even when the grief of divorce sends your self-confidence to an all-time low, you should still pay attention to your appearance. Always keep in mind that you were not beautiful and attractive to your ex, but to yourself.
Stay away from alcohol and other substances that apparently make the grief of your divorce more bearable. They do exactly the opposite. Stay social and leave home now to meet up with friends and meet new people.
Control your sadness
Avoid uncontrolled moments of sadness in which you give free rein to your sadness. You are allowed to be sad, of course, but try to determine for yourself when you give in to those feelings and when it seems inappropriate. Say to yourself: ,No, now I’m at work, now I won’t cry. I can do that later, when I’m home!, Seek comfort from family and friends, but not from strangers or even potential partners. Nothing can nip a budding new relationship in the bud faster than telling you over and over again about your ex and the sadness of your divorce.
Do something with friends
Don’t lose touch with your social environment, because that is important to you right now. Regardless of whether you just talk on the phone or go out together, it is important to keep in close contact with family and friends. Alternatively, you can seek closeness to people elsewhere, such as at cooking and language courses, the gym or perhaps even in a self-help group for people who are saddened by their divorce.
Have the courage to change things
Bring a breath of fresh air into your life by actively changing your familiar environment. Does the sight of the home furnishings you selected with your ex intensify the daily pain of the divorce? Then download a digital room planner and create a completely new look! Even small changes can improve your mood and contribute to your well-being.
Find a hobby to combat your sadness
Treat yourself to something nice and buy some new clothes, radiate joy in life or practice a fun hobby. And you never had any hobbies? Then now more than ever is the time to start one! What about a form of sport, for example? Or chess? To cook? Volunteer work, for example in a world shop? There are many ways to actively please yourself and others.
Seek professional help
If you feel so paralyzed by the divorce that you can’t try any of the recommendations mentioned earlier, you should absolutely contact a therapist! You certainly don’t have to be ashamed of this: going to a therapist because of sadness about a divorce is not essentially different from going to your doctor with a headache.