Discovering that a partner is having an affair is a painful experience that can have a devastating effect. The hurt partner feels betrayed and rejected by the broken promise. Despite extensive precautions, a secret love can be discovered, usually with tragic and fatal consequences for the relationship.
Infidelity and consequences
The consequences of open infidelity are sometimes much more disastrous for a marriage than those of secret affairs. Because possessiveness is simply part of sexual love. When a person loves another, he feels that that other person is a part of him. That is why he sees taking away the other person as a kind of theft and as a threat to his existence. This is one form of jealousy.
Insecurity and jealousy
A completely different and completely different form of jealousy is based on a feeling of insecurity. Just as love can give someone self-confidence, the end of love can leave someone deeply psychologically confused. Because it causes partners to lose their security, it is no wonder that psychiatrists have discovered that a large percentage of marriages in which mutual infidelity is permitted fail.
Husband and wife
Although sex-correspondence magazines like Candy often print letters from people who claim that infidelity improved their marriages, such experiences are likely exceptions. Therefore, if one wants to maintain his marriage and still be unfaithful, caution is of the utmost importance. If 50% of the men and 25% of the women who were unfaithful according to the Kinsey report had told their partners, there would undoubtedly have been many more broken marriages and more devastated people.
Restoration or destruction
It is rare selfishness to merely confess and relieve one’s conscience. And it is also extremely naive to expect that one will be forgiven because of one’s openness when the news completely upsets the partner and disrupts the marriage and family. It would be impossible to calculate how many concerns were alleviated and how many marriages were saved by the infidelity of the men and women of Kinsey’s report. Although always a perilous remedy, infidelity in certain circumstances can help a marriage get back on its feet and restore rather than destroy the partners’ self-confidence. While a person may feel quite confident if their marriage is a success, they will doubt themselves if it is a failure, especially if arguments occur on a daily basis.
Good or bad
Whether infidelity is good or bad cannot be judged by simple moral standards. All we can say is that it can be beneficial but in more cases fatal. A person who wants to have an affair outside his or her marriage would do well to carefully examine his or her motivations and whether all options within the marriage have been exhausted. It may well be that the marital problems need to be solved by the partners together or, on the other hand, that the marriage would be better off broken up.
Rosy tomcat
However, because infidelity often goes hand in hand with a new love, the unfaithful spouse is often inclined to view the consequences of his act and his openness about it quite rosy. The proverbial ,hangover, comes later.