We all gossip and we actually don’t think that is a good characteristic of ourselves at all. Women gossip more than men, research has shown. There are different ways we gossip and it’s good to recognize our own type of gossip. There are certain ways of gossip that are negative, such as slander or slander. But there are also positive sides to gossip, such as getting to know habits and learning from the experiences of others. It’s always about communication.
- Gossip is communication
- Who are we gossiping about?
- Gossip is healthy and not always negative
- Gossip etiquette is educational
- Flower talk is positive
- Gossip in general
Gossip is communication
Gossip is making statements about the other person or about his or her behavior. This often has a negative content. Slander, on the other hand, is gossip but with lies. Victims are created by lying gossip. This gossip can provoke bullying and we are now aware of the consequences. Gossip is also a form of communication. However, not all gossip is negative, but we must be aware of the effects of our gossiping behavior. We all find ourselves in new environments that require social skills and where gossiping is part of it. If we are aware of the different forms of gossip and recognize our own pattern in this, we can navigate according to our own compass. People who say ,I don’t gossip, are not aware of the fact that we are all social beings and communicate with each other. We also talk about third parties. Gossip has always existed. We used to call this small talk, chatter, or anecdotes. Gossip is also the spreading of news that the person telling it believes to be true. Sometimes it’s just rumors.
Who are we gossiping about?
We gossip about our friends, colleagues, neighbors, enemies, teachers, etc. We also gossip about people from politics and the media.
Gossip is healthy and not always negative
In the booklet entitled Gossip is Healthy by Dr. Charlotte De Backer various types of gossip are called. These include:
- Kama Sutra gossip
- Robinson’s gossip
- Etiquette gossip
- Cupid chatting
- Small talk
- Fleas
- Flower talk
- Pedigree sawmill
- Spiderweb bitches
- Talent show talk
- Check chat
- Tabloid talk
Kama Sutra gossip
This is gossip that focuses on the other person’s behavior. It concerns experiences of other people specifically in the field of love. The stories can be positive or negative in nature. This form of gossip can actually be called positive because one can learn from the behavior of others.
Robinson’s gossip
We tell stories about how others have tackled problems in their environment. People solve problems in different ways and you can benefit from the knowledge you gain from this gossip. Robinson gossip can of course also contain lies and we must be aware of this.
Gossip etiquette is educational
Anyone who finds themselves in a new situation will soon notice that there is gossip about the various customs that are common in a certain group. This could be; a new neighborhood, a new school or association, a new work environment. Gossip is a way to get informed about how things should be in the new group. Through gossip you will hear what is and is not allowed within the existing group. That’s why it’s better to listen to this carefully. This gossip is therefore called etiquette gossip. The question is:
- What is appropriate and what is not appropriate in this social environment
- I can learn how to behave from etiquette gossip
- But you can also teach others how to behave so as not to be left out.
Cupid chatting
This concerns the gossip that girls and women talk about boys and men. But also the other way around. This can be positive, where the other person is assessed very positively, but it can also be negative. Cupid was the god of love and he was mischievous. Everyone is looking for the ideal partner. It helps us to quickly find out what someone in a relationship is really like.
Women will often gossip about men’s appearance. For example, girlfriends can warn each other about the reputation of a certain man or vice versa.
Small talk
We should try to avoid this form of gossip because it involves mean talk by men about men and women about women. Giving a ,talk, is actually giving a blow and that is what people do with chatter. In general, women are more likely to gossip in this way than men. We will not learn anything from this form of gossip and we cannot consider it positive.
Fleas
Cheating is about the gossip that arises when someone has done something wrong. We then play the role of police officer, as it were. By exposing cheaters and profiteers, social structures are preserved. We do not always have to label this as negative. We can think of the so-called ,whistleblowers, who somewhere start to expose abuses.
Flower talk is positive
The gossip that we can call flower talk is very positive. We talk about someone’s merit. We pass on the positive thoughts we have about someone to the other person. You want to go further with these people to achieve your goal. Even if flower talk is not entirely true, it will not cause any damage.
Pedigree sawmill
At family tree sawmill we discuss who is related to whom. It is, as it were, unraveling the family tree. Anyone who has family has been the subject of family tree sawmilling at one time or another. There is nothing wrong with this as long as it is not mixed with other forms of gossip.
Spiderweb bitches
Spider web women is a bit like family tree sawmill, but it is not about family relationships but about social connections.
Who is friends with whom and who certainly doesn’t want to hang out with whom. This form of gossip is of great importance for people who regularly change their social environment. It is good to realize that we ourselves are also regularly subject to spider web-mongering, provided we have social contacts.
Talent show talk
These are the talks where we talk about the talents and skills that the other person has. This may involve the choice of a doctor or someone who has a certain company. But this gossip also takes place in the field of sports. Through the talent show talk we get the opportunity to look for friends and also to find the handyman or the right therapist. And whether we want to or not, we all participate in this at some point and we will all be the subject of this kind of gossip at some point.
Check chat
This involves very innocent talk about the behavior of others when there have been changes. People return from vacation and inquire about changes that have occurred among colleagues or in the neighborhood. Sometimes this form of gossip teaches us how we can behave better next time to continue to fit in with the group.
Tabloid talk
These are the media reports that are about ordinary people. Sometimes this form has only the characteristic of a rumor. Sender and receiver do not know each other. The goal is to gain wisdom from clever gossip. We can gain experience from the stories written about the other. It could be adventures in another country or someone who has done something special for a good cause. The reliability of this form of gossip does not always have to be great.
Gossip in general
Often the different forms of gossip will overlap. For example, there can be some flowery talk about a person’s good qualities and then a negative piece of gossip is added. We must avoid this. It is always the case that negative messages have a longer lasting effect than positive gossip. If we keep this in mind, it is possible to keep our gossiping behavior in balance. Gossip is then not only talking about others but also takes on the meaning of explaining life .