When you search on the internet, you will come across many articles about children with ADHD, PDD-NOS, ADD and various other disorders and all the tips and tricks on how you can deal with this as a parent. But increasingly, parents are also experiencing these problems and have to try to keep all the balls in the air. Something that is difficult for a ,normal, parent nowadays with all the pressure placed on you by society, but for parents with one or more diagnoses it is even more difficult to keep everything under control.
Earlier
In the past, there were few diagnoses, because the knowledge simply did not exist yet. But there was also much more peace and structure, which meant that many children kept up reasonably well. If you were busy, you were simply labeled as difficult and busy and there was little you could do about it. Many adults only discover that ,something, is going on when they have a family of their own and it becomes more difficult to determine whether they recognize themselves in their child. Not a problem, because a whole world of understanding and tips can open up for you. Also to understand yourself better and to understand that not everyone thinks like you. Not everyone has the chaos you experience in your head!
What is AD(H)D/PDD-NOS?
ADD and PDD-NOS are two different diagnoses, but they have many overlaps. That is why it is very difficult to separate the two.
Characteristics of PDD-NOS
People with PDD-NOS can recognize themselves in the following characteristics (but this certainly does not have to be the case in everything):
- Clumsy and fearful in social situations
- Little use of non-verbal communication
- Little or no learning from social experiences
- A lonely, closed impression
- Showing fear of changes
- Anxious adherence to certain routines
- To express oneself stubbornly and vehemently
- A one-sided interest
- Developing compulsive behavior patterns
- Oversensitive to sensory stimuli
- Old language
- In many cases, taking language literally
- Clumsy, stiff motor skills
Characteristics of ADD/AD(H)D
People with ADD can recognize themselves in the following characteristics (but here too, not all characteristics may apply):
- Always feeling of underachievement
- Poor organization
- Procrastination
- Difficulty finishing something
- Bored easily
- Enthusiastic and uninhibited
- Easily distracted
- Mood swings
- Restless
- Low self-esteem
- Creative and intelligent
And with both of these diagnoses together, the intention is to run a family and a house and we will now discuss that further.
The solutions?
Unfortunately, there are no solutions, but there are tools to make life a lot easier!
Stop working
That is a very tough one and certainly not feasible for everyone. Still, it’s worth checking out this option. Although you may have to give up a lot financially, it does bring a lot of peace to the family and you can concentrate on the family and household. And who knows, the rest will come later. Structuring your household and family, if you still live in chaos, is already quite a job and sometimes even 24 hours doesn’t seem to be enough! For the time being, the government still has many allowances and concessions and without childcare (which of course is no longer necessary), the money can sometimes not be too bad.
Lists, lists, and more lists
Without lists you actually get completely lost in the chaos. Of course, too many lists are not good either and you will have to find a way to do this yourself.
Freezer list
This hangs on the refrigerator and you write down what meat goes into the freezer and cross it off as soon as it comes out again. Easy so that you don’t have to clutter up the entire freezer every time or bring unnecessary meat into your home.
Monthly list
This also hangs on the refrigerator . This is a list of jobs that need to be done in the month in question. These can be large jobs or small jobs that have been lying around for years. But sometimes there is also an evening at the cinema, because otherwise you forget. Always write in sentences that encourage action, so cleaning the bathroom encourages action more than just the bathroom.
Weekly list
This obviously cannot be missing. It contains the small tasks that need to be scheduled per day. This could be cleaning jobs, sports clubs, doctor visits, but also time for yourself that you should not forget.
To do list per day
This list should actually be made the evening before. What will happen the next day and how will you plan this? For the weekends this is done in consultation with the family.
Time for yourself
This is certainly one that should not be forgotten. Because of the perfectionism that is often there, you often forget about yourself. So don’t forget to schedule time for yourself as well.
agenda
Buy a good, clear agenda and place it in an easily accessible place in the house. It takes some discipline, but the trick is to keep track of the agenda. And of course you can also look at it every day and look further than 1 day. Include all agreements, but also, for example, when the library books need to be returned. If it is really necessary, you can even schedule your own time so you don’t forget.
To play sports
Regular exercise helps to clear your head. Running is an example of a sport that you can easily take up yourself and which is claimed to be very good for people with ADHD. Here too, discipline remains important.
Closing
All in all, the above tips are some tips that can help. But here too, there is still something to learn every day and you have to keep yourself and your family sharp. Life with ADHD/PDD-NOS and a family is not easy, but with a lot of structure and discipline you can go a long way. It continues to evaluate every day, week, month and year what helps and what can be improved. When something becomes slack, it is a matter of picking it up again as quickly as possible. The longer you leave it, the harder it is to get something back on track. my view on