Is your toddler regularly stubborn, tearful, rebellious and/or quick-tempered? There is a good chance that he or she is going through ‘toddler puberty’. Toddler adolescence is an important phase in the lives of toddlers in which they explore boundaries and prepare themselves for the ‘big world’. For parents, toddler adolescence can be a huge ordeal that tests their patience. In this article you will find five important tips to get through toddler puberty well!
Tip 1: Listen to your child
You may think of this first tip: ‘Listen to my child? How so? I’m the parent, right? I’m the boss, right?’ Of course that is completely true. But this first tip does not have much to do with something like ‘obeying your child’. Listening to your child means trying to listen to what he/she wants to say, through all the difficult moods and periods. Your child is constantly trying to carve out a place for himself or herself in a world that can seem very big and impressive to him/her. A toddler wants to know how far he/she can go in certain situations, it mainly tests the parent(s); what is allowed and what is not allowed? And what else do I have a say in? Because the behavior of a preschooler can be quite disturbing (think of screaming, hysterical crying, pushing, hitting), it is important as a parent to remain calm and try to listen to the message behind the message. For example, a crying child may simply be very tired and not be able to indicate this. A screaming child may find it difficult to be heard, for example because he or she cannot yet express himself or herself properly. A tip: as a parent, try to express what the child wants. For example ‘do you want a sandwich?’, ‘are you in pain?’. This way, as a parent, you let them know that you understand a child.
Tip 2: Ensure rest, cleanliness, regularity
Children, and especially toddlers, need peace, cleanliness and regularity. As a parent you sometimes want all kinds of things; shopping, visiting, a day out, visiting family… If a child is very unruly and restless at that time, it is sometimes very annoying for parents. But it also indicates that a child wants something different, that he or she may be receiving too much stimulation. A rule may be that you do not undertake more than one major activity per day with a toddler. Did you visit in the morning? Then stay home in the afternoon. This may seem a bit ‘isolating’, but perhaps the opposite is true. You can do many fun things at home and in the environment around your home, such as taking a short walk, playing outside, or playing a game together. Remember that the world is much bigger in your toddler’s eyes than in your eyes. And for you it also means that you can be at home in peace without always having to go into battle. When your child is older you can start doing more things, that time will come again.
‘Rest, cleanliness and regularity ‘ naturally also includes your toddler’s nap. This may take a bit of searching; Some toddlers still need a lot of sleep, others sleep little. And the sleep rhythm can still change. Therefore, don’t ask too much of yourself and your toddler.
Tip 3: Be consistent
It is difficult to really punish your child at this early age if he or she does something that is not allowed. Repetition is therefore very important. Keep saying ‘no’ to something you really don’t want. Also pay close attention to your own voice; If you do not want something, it is wise to lower your voice. Stick to your guns. It varies a bit per child, but some toddlers can be isolated for a while as punishment. Think of a place in the hallway. As a parent you don’t have to be very strict about this, the point is that your child realizes that he or she will be isolated for a while if he or she has done something that was not allowed.
Being consistent also means that you as partners are more or less on the same page. Of course you are different, but it is not useful if one person says at a birthday party: ‘no more cheese’, while the other gives it.
Tip 4: Set a good example
Toddlers learn by imitating. If you see certain undesirable behavior, don’t be surprised if your toddler has ‘learned’ it from you or someone else. Therefore, think carefully about your own language and customs. Instead of leaving things alone, you can of course do things. If a child sees that someone can say ‘sorry’ or ‘thank you’, he or she will sooner or later copy that behavior. This way you can later teach a child to share or learn to cope with loss.
Tip 5: Enjoy!
The dreaded ‘toddler puberty’ may not be the most fun phase of your growing child, but try not to fall into a negative spiral. Remember that everything will turn out fine, and that a child in this phase is experimenting with rules and boundaries, no matter how extreme. Keep seeing the nice things in your child and write them down if necessary. Take pictures, play games with him or her and show that you love him or her regularly. Some parents ask quite a lot of their children at a young age. Therefore, choose not to compete in all situations. Remember that your toddler has a lot to learn. If he or she has had to adapt a lot during the day, then it really doesn’t matter if he or she eats with their hands and spills. There is no such thing as ‘perfect’.