Fear of failure is the fear of failure. Fear of failure is sometimes also the fear that causes you to fail. Fear of failure makes you more likely to fail and so many people remain in a negative spiral of fear and failure. Fear of failure means sweating, palpitations, wobbly legs and headaches when you are expected to perform. If you are sure that you will not succeed before every test, presentation, speech, lecture or quiz, then you suffer from fear of failure. You are not alone, a quarter of the population is just as afraid of failure as you are.
Contents
- How do you recognize fear of failure?
- How do you get fear of failure?
- Fear of failure in hormones
- Three types of fear of failure
- What can you do about fear of failure?
How do you recognize fear of failure?
How do you recognize fear of failure in yourself or others? The symptoms can be divided into three groups: cognitive, behavioral and physical. Your body feels the pressure and you get a headache, stomach ache, cramps, you start sweating, you become dizzy and you sometimes find yourself gasping for air. Someone with a fear of failure is a doom-monger and can effortlessly list all the bad outcomes. But worse is of course that the rush of adrenaline actually puts your thinking (cognitive) ability on the back burner. People with performance anxiety suffer from blackouts. Your behavior changes. Fear of failure ensures that people are no longer able to sit still, cannot organize their work and run away from their task. Children who suffer from fear of failure start skipping school and grades can drop dramatically. Some children become aloof from the rest of the class and seem lonely, while other children become the class clown.
How do you get fear of failure?
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Children with parents who are focused on good performance (in every area) will develop fear of failure more quickly. A performance-oriented environment, an environment where the effort for performance is less important than the performance itself, can lead to fear of failure. It should be enough to do your best, but it isn’t always. But not only at home, but also at school, children can feel like they are continuing to fall short when teachers emphasize what went wrong instead of what went right. It’s not just the environment that can have a negative influence. Fear of failure is partly caused by predisposition. Some people are affected more by the pressure of school, parents and friends than others. In addition, seasoned perfectionists seem to develop fear of failure more quickly and are more likely to be affected by failure.
Fear of failure in hormones
When you are extremely afraid of an exam, for example, your body produces an important hormone: adrenaline. Adrenaline prepares your body for an ancient response: flight or fight. Very useful for our ancestors when they had to flee from a cave bear, but rather inconvenient for an exam. The adrenaline causes an accelerated heart rate, sweating and wheezing breathing. At the same time you can think less well, all the oxygen goes to the flight or fight response. You black out and the entire doomsday scenario that was already in your head comes true: you fail. This reaction is sometimes called negative fear of failure. The fear causes you to perform less. Positive fear of failure is that healthy tension that everyone has before an exam and that sometimes actually makes you perform better.
Three types of fear of failure
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There are three types of fear of failure. Social fear of failure has to do with the fear of being outdone by others. Speaking engagements, book reviews, but also meetings and a speech seem like an insurmountable task. If you do not dare to express your opinion and you do not dare to contradict someone, you may suffer from this form of fear of failure.
People with cognitive performance anxiety fear that they are not smart enough to complete a task. Motor performance anxiety mainly affects someone when a certain physical performance has to be achieved. The boundary between the three forms will not always be sharp. Someone often suffers from a mixture. If you do not dare to speak up at a meeting because you think that everyone else is much smarter than you and that they will think you are ridiculous, then you suffer from social and cognitive fear of failure.
What can you do about fear of failure?
Fear of failure is difficult, but it can be cured or you can learn to live with it. When someone is a worrier by nature, the fear of failure will always remain dormant. When young children suffer from fear of failure, it is especially important to contact the school. Try to draw up an action plan together with the school. When you are a bit older, some suggestions:
- Always seek help. Many schools have internal counselors who can help. Sometimes talking about the fear of failure is enough. In addition, these can help you with strategies to manage your anxiety.
- Preparation. Make sure your work is completed on time, learn on time and be prepared. So start a task on time and don’t postpone it. You feel better when you know the material or the task.
- Only positive thoughts. When you are well prepared, what can happen to you? ‘Doing your best’ is enough. Don’t postpone learning, start on time
- Stay realistic. Don’t demand the impossible of yourself. Set realistic goals, goals that you can certainly achieve (with some effort).
- No delay. Make sure you plan thoroughly and don’t postpone learning and practice. If good planning is not your strong suit, you seek help. But if you can start an exercise with thorough preparation, things often go much better.
- Accept that it is okay to make mistakes. No one is perfect and don’t expect that of yourself. Sometimes you get bad grades, but if ‘you have done your best’ then there is nothing to worry about.
- Learn relaxation exercises. Sometimes a few breathing exercises are enough to control the rising panic.
- Take care of yourself. Make sure you get enough rest, go to bed on time, eat healthy and also think about the necessary relaxation.
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