This article was created by a cry from a Loesje tear-off calendar. This reads: Worrying is fantasizing in the wrong direction. A fascinating thought that made you think, because what exactly is worrying? Is worrying actually useful and what is the difference between worrying and worrying? When you worry, you often worry about longer-term problems. Sometimes also about things that might happen in the future.
Worry
When we worry we are worried about a certain situation. We start thinking about the consequences that a certain action can have and the most terrible doomsday scenarios follow. This can occur when a child or partner comes home late and we start fantasizing about what might have happened. These are usually not things like forgetting time. No, the most horrible scenarios play out in your head. Another example is money problems. You do not think in a solution-oriented way but imagine the most terrible things in your head, such as losing your car or becoming homeless. Another example: worrying about your health and trying to find a disease for every pain. So maybe the Loesje tear-off calendar is right, worrying is a negative way of fantasizing. Fortunately, we usually know that things won’t go that smoothly and that we are worrying.
Usefulness of worrying
A mild form of worry keeps us sharp and ensures that we are well prepared. Examples are:
- worrying about whether you have brought enough home for the visitors.
- worrying about whether you have everything with you for the holiday.
- worrying about whether the insurance or pension is properly arranged.
When it is good, this way of worrying encourages you to take action and control, so that you are well prepared or take a closer look at certain matters and make adjustments where necessary.
When worrying is no longer useful
It gets annoying when we start worrying about things we have no control over or when we overthink things.
Example: It’s okay to worry about burglary if it means you better secure your home. It does become a problem when your house is well secured and you keep worrying. Then you go through with it. You have done what you have to do, if there is still a burglary it is a case of force majeure and bad luck. There is no point in worrying about this in advance.
It also becomes boring when you or your children limit their freedom of movement. It’s okay to worry when your child climbs the jungle gym. It is also fine to keep an eye on the child and intervene if the child becomes overconfident. It is a different story when you see so many doomsday scenarios emerging in advance that you forbid the child to go on the jungle gym and even scare him by saying that he is going to fall off and then end up in the hospital.
When do we worry?
We usually start worrying when we have nothing better to do and when we cannot change the situation at that moment. This is usually at night or sometimes at work, when it is not busy.
Breaking worry
- When you’re worrying, it might be useful to tell yourself that the chance of what you’re worrying about happening is very small. You are fantasizing. The chance that you will win the lottery and become a millionaire is extremely small, but we all fantasize about it. Fortunately, the fear that something bad will happen to us is also very small.
- Try to turn your fears into action. Does your child come home late and are you worried? Call all his friends and start searching. You may not want to do that because you know it will cause an argument, but that is a good lesson for the child. Next time he will definitely be on time.
- If you start to worry at night, try to relax. Focus very much on your body and relax body part by body part. Start with your left toes, then your left foot, then your left lower leg, etc.
Loesje is right. Worrying is fantasizing in the wrong direction.