School child is actually a misnomer for this age. Both before and after this age, they are required to attend school and go to school, so they are already and still are school children. They are actually between two phases, they are no longer toddlers, but they are not yet teenagers either. Yet this is a separate and independent phase in your child’s life. A schoolchild has entered a quiet phase. Physical development is now moving at a slower pace and his motor skills are refining. He is increasingly determining his own direction and making his own choices. It’s great to follow the development of these mini people.
This article is largely based on my own experiences, after having 3 daughters in 4 years there are quite a few. Not only do the girls not look much alike on the outside, they are also very different on the inside. We had to approach all 3 in a different way, but the result was the same for all 3: independent, lively school kids who entered their teenage phase freely and strongly.
In this article
- Development
- Sex
- Circle of friends
- The school child
- School
- Cheating
- Association
- Cheeky
- Conclusion
Development
Sex
In general, girls develop more quickly than boys during this period. They now also identify more with their peers and often ignore the other sex, girls are especially sensitive to this (boys are stupid). Boys generally remain interested in the opposite sex and sometimes do the craziest antics to get their attention. Sometimes this literally becomes teasing girls, asking for kisses, which should not be confused with bullying, although you have to make sure that the teasing does not turn into bullying.
Circle of friends
By now, if all goes well, your child has built up his or her own circle of friends. He comes home with the friends he has chosen. These may be children that you immediately take to your heart, but they may also be children that you have doubts about. Allow your child freedom in his choices and respect them. That doesn’t change the fact that you should discuss it and explain to him what bothers you about his boyfriend. Keep in mind that his friend is also just a child and that his behavior is often the result of his upbringing (or lack thereof).
Most of our daughters’ friends are wonderful girls who still come over. Of course I have my preferences and there were also girls who I found spoiled, sneaky and/or sassy. I have always been very clear in my rules, violence and the like are not tolerated in my house, if you want something you first ask nicely, after playing you clean up neatly and you eat what is available. At home I am allowed to have a coke with my food, they always got it, you are not at home right now, my children don’t get a coke and I am not going to treat you any differently, you can choose between water, milk, lemonade or fruit juice and otherwise you just don’t drink anything. In all those years, only one person had a problem with this, but that girl still comes here (although she no longer eats because she is used to junk food). Children don’t mind clear rules at all, on the contrary, they enjoy knowing where they stand.
The school child
School
Childhood is over. His actions and ways of thinking will become more and more coherent, he will gain more and more insight into cause and effect. Your child will now really learn to write, count and much more. He must be prepared for secondary school and he will be given assignments that he will have to complete at school or at home. It is good to help him with his homework but it is very wrong to start doing his homework. If you constantly run after him, he will never take his responsibilities and he will have a hard time later in high school. Let him find out what happens if he only starts learning his topo the day before. That one failing grade really doesn’t make him sit down, but he does learn from it.
My eldest daughter had to do a project in the days when the Internet was still available via telephone and there was not much to be found on the World Wide Web. Pictures were cut out and then pasted into the workpiece. Of course I helped her with the layout and finding information, etc., but I let her do everything else herself. I had to explain to her why I didn’t put the whole project together for her, like some other mothers. I thought it was strange that I had to explain this and after my explanation she actually thought so too (although of course she thought it was a shame). She thought it was very unfair when the papers of her classmates, made by their mothers, were rewarded with a very good while she only received a good or sufficient. Fortunately, I was able to make it clear to her that her property was worth much more and that although it was stupid of the teacher not to see through that, it was also a life lesson; You will experience situations like that many times over the rest of your life, don’t look too much at others, just make sure you have your own affairs in order.
Cheating
Honesty is of paramount importance. Yet there is an exception that confirms the rule. By cheating they learn that more roads lead to Rome. Not only that, they also learn to take responsibilities and accept consequences. If you don’t play it smart and fall through the basket, you’re out. Sometimes cheating will help you achieve your goal in a faster and better way. But if you get caught, you have to be honest enough to admit it.
When my youngest had to make papers, there were now complete papers on the internet. Ready to be copied. Her first attempt at this fraud failed when I asked her about the source. That’s not a job for me, try again, but this time in the way you learned, she got back to work with a sigh. On her second attempt she showed me her draft, see, those are my own words. When I asked what she meant by The enormous decline in numbers must be attributed to the continued advance of man. she owed me the answer. I explained to her that if you cheat, you have to do it right, you still have to know what you are talking about and that you should never just copy anything. Better to have a good steal than a bad one is fine, but that is often even more difficult than when you use your gray cells yourself.
Association
It is very important that your child starts exercising at this age (if he is not already doing so). At this age he wants to belong somewhere and at the same time he is becoming more and more independent of you. By making him a member of an association, you help him in this regard. Children enjoy being active in groups, team sports are very good in that respect, but individual sports such as athletics, tennis or horse riding are also taught in group lessons. Participating in competitions is very good for his mentality, even (or perhaps especially) if he is not competitive.
Our middle one was not competitive at all. By encouraging her to participate in competitions, she has learned that if you want to achieve something, you have to work very hard for it. If you win, even by just a point, it’s a nice feeling. You have achieved something by fighting. When you achieve this as a group, there is a kind of party feeling. If you achieve this alone, you can be very proud of yourself and that is also very nice. She has also learned that you cannot always be the best, that is not necessary, you can also be proud when you lose everything but have become better at what you do. Bottom line is, to achieve something, you have to do something for it.
Our eldest, who is very competitive, has learned to lose. Used to always being the best, it was a big blow for her when a girl at the club was a little faster, causing her to become eternal 2nd. She was a sore loser and she really had to learn to give that girl her victory. It took a while before she could change the thought yuck, now she was faster again to yuck, now I wasn’t fast enough again. She has learned to put her energy into action instead of sulking and after hard training she is now faster than that girl.
Cheeky
They will now also become mentally independent of you and you will probably have a really big mouth for the first time. By that I don’t mean the tantrums they can have at a younger age, but the really brutal expressions of a child who shows no respect for authority. Do not tolerate this. Never. With no exceptions. If you don’t intervene now, you’ll be stuck in a few years and it will be too late. Children who show no respect for authority often do not accept the rest of their upbringing. With all its consequences. There is a but to it; I also teach my children that you have to earn respect, but at this age they are still too young for that and if you tolerate a big mouth from them now, it will inevitably cause problems.
Conclusion
Schoolchildren are increasingly thinking in an adult way. They gain a sense of norms, form their own opinions, develop their logic and empathy. Their own experiences are increasingly becoming part of their perception of the world and they are becoming increasingly independent. However, during this period they are also very sensitive to compliments and confirmation. They now need a lot of attention and guidance and it is very important that they are not left to fend for themselves at this stage. Although they now have to be very independent, the necessary backup is extremely important, they need to know you are there. They now draw their own conclusions and they are not always the right ones, they can be so wrong that they become very insecure and it is very important that you identify this so that you can intervene at the right time. This phase is perhaps the most intensive phase that requires a lot of time and guidance from the educator; Not only do you have to take them everywhere, they also need a lot of mental attention.