No communication without an ,ulterior motive,. We communicate to share our thoughts or ideas. But in most cases, through what you say, you want to ensure that the other person does exactly what you ask. You can therefore recognize whether communication has been successful. whether the desired action takes place. Read here how it works.
Only open communication works
Good and adequate communication is not a one-way street. Instead, information must pass back and forth. However, you can only achieve this if you do not turn communication into a well-defined system that deprives others of the opportunity to enter into dialogue with you.
Authoritarian forms of communication, for example, are dialogue-unfriendly. The other person then either gets scared or he quickly gets fed up with you and closes himself off from you internally. And it’s not much better if you use verbal self-praise or fall into soporific monologues.
So communicate openly. Give others the opportunity to participate. You are immediately rewarded for it: this ping-pong communication creates a mutual communication flow, a network-like communication. And often at the end of such a conversation you are much wiser than before. Authoritarian communicators, on the other hand, usually remain as stupid as before.
Power talk
Do you ever want to get something done more often but rarely succeed? Or do you get something completely different instead? Then check whether you are not communicating too much in the subjunctive mood with frequent use of terms such as if and but. Because at a certain point it is very interesting for you to find out whether your conversation partner can do something for you, but only if that is possible and not unpleasant for him, well, then you have a problem.
Okay, of course you must always remain polite and that also includes not coming across as too demanding. But on the other hand, the other person must also notice and clearly get the feeling that you would really like something specific. So state that clearly and indicate that you would like that. And also tell him that it is very important to you, if it is that important! How else would the other party know that?
Good communication: no casual ,get-together,
Power talk therefore means nothing more than that you place exactly the emphasis and energy in your communication that is necessary to achieve your goal. You will also make a very interesting observation with this method of communication: you find out where you stand much faster. Because usually a subjunctive method of communication only produces non-binding answers along the lines of:
- possible;
- could be;
- I do not know yet;
- we will see.
PowerTalk, on the other hand, also forces the other person to be clear: divergent answers or postponing a decision becomes difficult.
Communicate positively
The power of positive thinking is a fact. The power of positive communication as well. It makes a world of difference whether you tell the boss:
- ,I don’t know if I will be able to have the report ready by Tuesday.,
- or ,I’ll try to have the report ready by Tuesday.,
Expressing one’s thoughts in positive sentences has two consequences :
- First of all, you create a positive undertone for yourself and your conversation partner that creates a good atmosphere for further conversation;
- Secondly, you stimulate yourself and others. When possibilities become visible and conceivable, it is often only a small step towards realization. Negative perceptions, on the other hand, paralyze and block a conversation, not only with yourself, but also with your partner.