Not all teenagers are fierce rebels, but when they are, they sometimes drive you to despair. How should you approach them and what behavior is normal? When should you start worrying about your teenager’s behavior? Usually things go well, but for the ten percent of teenagers who rebel violently, you sometimes need some guidance. The teenager falls between adults and children not only in terms of age but also in terms of behavior. Sometimes they behave irrationally and other times they reason logically and coherently and appear mature.
Attraction and repulsion
An adolescent is no longer a child. He no longer sees his parents as knowing everything and he increasingly wants to make his own decisions and stand on his own two feet, although he is not yet ready for the independence and responsibility that comes with this. This follows a complicated process in which the teenager on one side wants to do things together with the parents and on the other side wants to be left alone. The teenager wants connection, but he does not want to lose himself in this. He wants to share his feelings with you, but not make himself vulnerable. He wants to be helped by you, but still be independent. He behaves defensively, but still needs contact.
Changing moods
This is often very severe, especially in girls. The mood can suddenly change from happy to sad and back again from one moment to the next. This also includes tantrums, often for no apparent reason. Adolescents often feel misunderstood and can react hypersensitively to your statements.
Social contact
Teenagers prefer to be with their peers. They mirror each other and do not want to stand out. It is not without reason that all teenagers look somewhat similar in appearance and expressions. Only from the age of sixteen do teenagers start developing their own identity. Adults and their opinions are less important during puberty and the teenager prefers to be in contact with their peers day and night. It is not without reason that many teenagers seem to be fused with their mobile phone. Messages must be constantly checked and cannot be ignored. For teenagers, this form of social contact involves doing homework and contact with family members.
Teenagers and the truth
Every teenager lies. When parents say that their teenager never lies, they do not know their son or daughter well. Adolescents lie to avoid an argument or nagging from their parents. Ignorance is bliss. Everything for the sake of peace. But there is also another reason why teenagers deal creatively with the truth; they believe that they have the right to privacy and that their parents should not know everything.
Passive teenager
Lying in bed all morning and then hanging in front of the TV in the afternoon, listening to music and sitting with their cell phone in their hand. Teenagers are often limitlessly passive. This is partly because their sleep patterns are disturbed. A teenager is actually suffering from constant jet lag. In the evening he produces melatonin too late and he cannot fall asleep, in the morning he cannot get out of bed. Many teenagers suffer from chronic sleep deprivation as a result. In addition, the current generation has grown up with passive entertainment such as television, computers and game consoles and also with parents who often do not set a good example. Playing, which children do, is over and teenagers find it difficult to spend their free time differently. Passive entertainment doesn’t make you tired and this throws your sleep rhythm even further off track.
read more
- How do you deal with a difficult teenager?