Parenting busy, overactive children isn’t always easy. Some children are very compliant and hardly cause any problems. Other children, however, are overactive, very alert, and keep their parents busy all the time. Such children are not easy to keep in line, but that does not always have to be negative and does not necessarily mean a diagnosis of ADHD. Children’s urge to investigate is well known and those who investigate more also discover more. Such a child gains more experiences and learns from his own drive to act. So far nothing is happening. However, it becomes difficult if such a child keeps trying to avoid the rules to satisfy his urge to act. How far can one let a child go?
ADHD
ADHD is the abbreviation for the disorder Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. Children with this disorder cannot concentrate and pay little attention to their surroundings. They are overactive and often do not understand the consequences of their impulsive behavior. However, not every child who is busy and active also has this disorder.
The child’s own nature always plays a role
Every child is born with his or her own predisposition. The shape and color of the eyes, hands, feet, hair, etc. are all potentially present. The disposition of character is one of the things that is already present in disposition. You can influence and shape character during education, but you cannot change the character itself. One child is overactive and the other is super calm.
Quiet children
Parents of quiet children sometimes worry about their child’s overly calm nature. They hear stories and anecdotes from other parents about children who get into all kinds of mischief, but their own child is usually well-behaved, docile and without problems. However, there is nothing necessarily wrong with that. When you see that your child is very attentive, develops normally, walks, talks, etc. on time and feels good about it, it is simply the nature of the animal to regularly sit and play quietly by himself.
Busy, overactive children
If your child is very quick in his movements, very alert and very inquisitive, then there is usually nothing wrong with that. Take a look around your family. You usually recognize some of these qualities in your own family or that of your partner. However, busy children are indeed not always easy to handle. This involves a lot of imagination and flexibility.
Looking for and testing the limits
They try out all set limits and test, not once, but many times, whether those limits are still the same. Their urge to investigate is sometimes incredible. They invent the craziest things and are often not afraid of anything. Only ,boundlessly, curious. They often need to be protected from themselves, because they sometimes get into trouble at the same time when no one is paying attention to them.
A framework of rules
Busy children especially benefit from a framework of rules. These rules should not be too strict, but there should be a set of fixed rules. This involves fixed times for sleeping, getting up, eating at the table and the usual rules, such as not turning on the TV or computer yourself, not using expensive equipment, not touching the contents of the kitchen cupboards, and so on.
Don’t break any rules yourself
Please also adhere to the established rules for the child and do not break them under any circumstances. For example, if the child is not allowed to eat sweets an hour before dinner, do not have a sweet or cookie during that time, because then you are breaking your own rule. Rules give a busy child a feeling of security and safety. However, it will always try to break those rules, but that includes you.
Do not punish overactive children too often
Busy, overactive children often sin against the imposed rules. However, only punish when really necessary. With overactive children you can otherwise grumble and punish them all day long. Try to avoid the minor offenses. A child who kicks another should of course be severely scolded, but a child who, despite being forbidden not to touch it, has burned a finger in the oven has already been punished enough.
Try to put things into perspective
Overactive children are more likely to destroy something than calm children due to their thoughtless urge to act. However, this often does not happen on purpose. You can make a difference in that. It’s never fun when something breaks. We all know that. If something breaks due to too busy action, but that was not on purpose, then you can grumble for a while. However, do not give excessive punishment for this.
A positive response often works better than punishment
It is better to regularly give a positive response. If the child has done something right, say so. Praise the child for putting away toys without any problems, going to sleep peacefully, playing sweetly with brother, sister or friend or for helping with shopping. With an overactive child you often tend to just grumble, but there are certainly many positive moments.
Take the time to watch quietly while the child is busy
Every now and then, just sit down and watch your child while he or she is busy. We bet you will also see nice promotions and reactions? You should actually bring that to the fore. In addition, it is good to occasionally turn a blind eye to something that is not really worth punishing. Too much punishment is also not good. So only punish if the child takes dangerous actions or if he really breaks your sparing rules.
To the doctor or not
Anyone who goes to the doctor with an overactive child often ends up in an investigation process. People always find something (or think they will find it) and many children walk around with medication, which makes them calmer, but it is questionable whether they actually need it. However, all medications have side effects. If your child needs them, these side effects often have to be taken for granted, but if they are not necessary, it is better to avoid them.
Sticking stickers is not always a good idea
Busy children are often medically labeled ADHD or something similar. It is not always a good idea to have this checked out. If your busy child is manageable by your framework of rules and doesn’t dance out of line too much, then leave it be.
A child uses it as an excuse
A child who knows he has ADHD will behave differently. It then has an excuse for annoying behavior and that only makes the problem worse. You also have the feeling that the child cannot do anything about it and you tend to allow more than would actually be desirable.
Consequences for later
A statement such as ADHD can also cause problems in later professional life. For example, there are people who therefore have to take a driving test every three years. Employers also shy away from the term ADHD, even though it can even result in a very interested, very inquisitive and creative employee.
Only research if necessary
If your child is really unmanageable and you have the feeling that something is wrong, it is of course a good idea to have it checked. However, don’t be too quick to stick a sticker on your child’s forehead. The diagnosis of a real problem should not become an excuse for annoying or noticeable behavior. A lot can be arranged with a good upbringing and a loving environment. It has helped your child.