Being in a relationship is like coming home to each other. Someone in your life with whom you feel safe and secure, but who can also challenge and confront you. No matter how many people strive for a warming, safe environment, if this dominates the relationship too much, something else is often lost; tension. Voltage is the action of two different poles reacting to each other, like magnets being attracted or repelled by each other. But how do you keep this magnetism going in a long relationship?
Openness
In a long relationship there is always a danger that we believe we know the other person completely. This misconception results in a certain behavior in which we no longer ask whether our assumptions about the other person are actually correct. ‘He must be tired’ we think, or: ‘If she acts like that she just wants to make fun’. Because we strongly believe in our own assumptions about the other person, we no longer question them and thus actually miss out on the other person. To keep a relationship active and exciting, you actually have to do the opposite, namely constantly look for each other. Ask the other person why he is quiet, is there perhaps something wrong? Talk as much as possible about what you feel, what moves you and what you want in life. This way, the communication between the two of you will remain interesting and lively. When you look into your partner’s eyes, look as if you were seeing him or her for the first time. Marvel yourself. See the other person as a secret that you can discover and unravel in a lot of time, which is a privilege. So also enjoy those parts of the other person that you understand less well. Difference creates tension. Difference is something to celebrate in a relationship. If you also express your amazement towards the other person in small gifts or compliments, you will be sure that the chemistry between you will continue to flow.
Do not merge completely
Many images we have in our minds about love are of complete unity and harmony. Daily life teaches us that such a thing does not really exist, but these images often remain persistent in our minds. However, if you merge too much in a relationship, the tension that existed between you and your partner will likely disappear quickly. To keep good chemistry between the two different poles of the relationship intact, it is therefore important that you and your partner continue to lead your own life. So do what you, as an individual, really enjoy. Take care of your own passions and friends. This way you not only have something to tell the other person, but you can also inspire and surprise each other. If you do too much together, you will, as it were, adopt too much of the same color, so that there will be less and less to experience together. A passionate relationship consists of two individuals who both stand on their own two feet and can enrich but also excite each other.
Make time for sex
Sexuality is an important part of love between two adult people. However, if a relationship becomes too much of a safe haven, the sexual excitement you experience with your own partner may weaken. That is why it is important to know what the other person likes in bed and to be open and honest about it. Sex is not an activity that just appears out of the blue. There is a whole process of being sexually stimulated beforehand, and it is important that you take the time for this. If sex is quickly added to the plan after a long day, the activity will be more stressful than exciting and probably not satisfying. So take the time to touch each other, in the kitchen or just when you’re watching TV together. Stay aware of the other person’s body and create a bond with it. If you stay in contact with each other’s bodies in this way, the tension between you will remain alive, and in bed the sex will be more passionate and relaxed. Also touch each other if the end goal is not sex at all, but to stimulate closeness and sensuality between you and your partner. Remember that the best sex is often casual and sometimes happens accidentally, once there is an erotic atmosphere between two partners!
Give each other space!
Space is essential for excitement. That may sound contradictory, but it is actually very logical. If you can allow your partner to withdraw from time to time or take up his own space, there will also be a greater desire to get together again. In a dynamic relationship, where both partners come together and then go their own way, tension will naturally exist. Desire plays a core role in an exciting relationship. Anyone who wants to desire must be able to let go in order to incline again. In that game of freedom, distance and closeness, a relationship will maintain its tension. This requires love and mutual trust. The optimal relationship therefore includes both security and tension. A challenge that is more than worth it!