If we can no longer provide honest criticism, society will certainly not be better off. It is precisely identifying areas for improvement that leads to progress and prevents abuses. But criticizing or forcing things in the wrong way can cause disagreement and irreparably damage the relationship. If you have comments, do so at an appropriate time, and express them in a respectful manner, to avoid irritation and conflict.
Criticism without conflict
It is not always easy to give your honest opinion and still remain good friends. It often works out between sports buddies when reviewing the match. And from an older person with experience, a young person who still has to learn will also be able to accept comments. But when it comes to criticism about family issues, your positive comments can cause great damage, sometimes causing a permanent rift. And as a simple employee, it is not easy to criticize your boss.
Timing
There is no unanimous advice on when it is best to express your criticism. But constantly being annoyed about something and reacting explosively when the straw has broken for you doesn’t seem wise. It is better to make a comment or comment earlier in a quiet moment. It is often useful to bring something up if the subject happens to be about it. So if you’re having a nice chat with your neighbor about gardening, it’s a good time to bring up that overhanging branch that’s bothering you a lot. So don’t call him out of bed for it. Or you engage in barter: ,Of course I will remember to turn the radio down a bit, but can I also ask you something?, Never go on the attack straight away, because that will antagonize the opponent. Rather, try in a questioning tone: ,Is it possible that I hear your radio regularly at night or is it from the other neighbors?,
Which medium
Verbally in private, by telephone, letter or email. There are pros and cons to everything. However, remember that things that go wrong in writing are difficult to fix. While in a conversation you can adjust, soften, clarify, and ask for understanding. Which does not alter the fact that in certain cases a written message comes across better. For example, if every conversation with a certain person always gets stuck, or he/she cannot listen. Or if you suspect that such a conversation will turn into an argument. Never make the mistake of writing things in a letter or email that you would not dare to say to someone’s face in person.
Written
When you write to someone, you do so in a friendly, understanding tone. However, if you cannot think of any reason why you should do it in writing instead of verbally, stop writing and approach the person verbally. When you write, do so respectfully in a friendly manner with an introduction. And end on a pleasant note that invites the maintenance of friendly relations. Give the other person the opportunity to give in and accept the criticism without losing face. Do not post sharp comments. Do not go into too much detail in a letter, but keep it general. You can only provide details verbally. Perhaps you should regard such a letter as a starting point and offer to discuss the matter during a meeting. Be somewhat vulnerable if possible. But of course, stay yourself.
By email
The disadvantage of email compared to a letter is that it is a more volatile medium, which makes less of an impression than the mail delivered at home. Moreover, such an email can easily be forwarded by the recipient (accidentally) to others, which you may not want. Such email should also be friendly and respectful. Don’t say things that you don’t dare tell the person directly. Here too, try to find an opening to discuss the matter in more detail with each other. Keep in mind that email can cause a lot of damage. An advantage of email is that the other person can easily respond. But make sure it stays with one response, because you can’t have a ,back and forth, discussion via email. A meaningful discussion can only occur verbally.
On an internet forum
Realize that everything you post on such an internet message board will still be there at least 20 years later and can easily be traced via your name.
Oral
Usually the best way to give your opinion, but in case of serious difficult issues certainly not by telephone, because if the other person angrily ends the conversation you will be further away from home. How do you prevent the other person from becoming angry? How do you gain understanding for your position, for your honest and sincere criticism? Uniform advice cannot be given in this regard, because no person and no situation is the same. In any case, make sure that you remain respectful and use proper language. Always stay calm. Keep it businesslike and don’t rush into everything. Don’t take old cows out of the ditch. Also think in advance how you will react if you do not give in (right away). Give him/her the opportunity to think about your criticism and sleep on it, so don’t immediately force your way. It can be an advantage or a disadvantage that someone else (e.g. a partner) is present during the conversation. And also realize that your criticism may not be (completely) justified, or that there are extenuating circumstances for the other person. (You thought he always had the radio on so loud, but it was his daughter).