Informal care. There is more and more talk about it, but the largest group of people is forgotten. Informal caregivers for people with dementia receive discussions with social work, the general practitioner and the doctor in the hospital. They have points of contact and receive advice from various sources and sometimes help if necessary. However, not every partner has dementia and therefore ends up at a doctor, where the problem is recognized. Informal care often also concerns the care of people with Parkinson’s, MS, rheumatism, or another debilitating disease. They often do not immediately, or too late, look for help with their daily difficulties. Many informal caregivers therefore have a growing problem.
Informal care is gradually growing
There are many options for informal care and most informal caregivers initially do not realize that they are providing informal care. They just notice that more and more is being asked of them over time. Especially if the informal caregiver has a full-time or part-time job and also cares for a busy family with young children or teenagers at home. Often they do not even realize that things are not going well and that they should take a step back.
Would like to do everything myself
There are also informal caregivers who do not like to ask for help and prefer to solve everything themselves, without outside interference. These are often the people who want to be independent and prefer to help their partner, disabled child or parent with dementia as best as possible. They value their privacy and would like that for the people they care for.
Silent informal caregivers burn out more quickly
There are also countless informal caregivers who provide informal care, but do not realize it at all. These are the people who care for a partner or child at home or regularly do chores for their parents or a few old neighbors. This usually goes well in the beginning, but over time it becomes increasingly difficult. Especially if the informal caregiver is older, burnout is likely to occur.
Providing informal care can lead to burnout more quickly, especially among the elderly
Aging parents and relatives require more and more care. If you are an only child, all care falls solely on you. If there are brothers and sisters, the care can often be shared together. If you are still in the prime of your life, this is usually not a problem, but as you get older, you also have more obligations in your job and possibly with your family. If the informal care tasks continue to expand, you may even experience burnout. This also did not help the person seeking help. It is therefore wise to be aware of it in time if it becomes too much for you.
A difficult decision with an impending burnout
As soon as you notice that informal care is becoming too much for you, you need to talk about it. Often a good solution can be found together with the elderly, for example by dividing care tasks, so that one family member does the shopping, another takes care of the laundry and ironing and a third takes care of the necessary trips to the doctor or hospital. and pharmacy.
Seek outside help
However, if such an arrangement is not possible, outside help should be sought through social work and the person’s GP. Often more is possible than you previously thought.
Older people do not like to change help
Many elderly people simply do not want outside help. They rely on their children or grandchildren and prefer to keep help within the family. In that case it becomes very difficult to share the help with others. The informal caregiver has been working on it for a long time and often does not want to disrupt the relationship with the older person. That makes it really difficult. However, in such a case you must choose to perform fewer informal care tasks.
Social assistance
Also ask social workers to visit the elderly person, but do not tell them who initiated the visit. Sometimes it is possible to call in outside help in this way. A stranger often achieves more than you do. Many municipalities also have good options for helping the elderly, which can relieve some of the burden on informal care.
Informal care for a child within the family
This is a bit more difficult for informal care within the family. People often lovingly take on the care tasks for their partner and certainly for their child in need of care and do not want to hand them over. This is easy to do when a child in need of care is still small and can be carried everywhere, but as the child becomes older, bigger and less manageable, informal care may become too much. It is wise to contact a doctor and social work in time to get outside help and thus prevent worse.
Nursing homes often ask family members for informal care
More and more nursing homes are increasingly relying on the support of informal caregivers who have to do the laundry for their parents staying there, shower them, do their shopping for them, take them outside for a walk, feed someone, and so on.
Mandating informal care
Some nursing organizations even want to make informal care mandatory, also for other residents of the nursing home, but that is not a good thing. Nursing homes should take charge of their own care tasks.
Informal caregivers within the nursing home
Nevertheless, informal caregivers are often already busy with care tasks within the nursing home. Older informal caregivers, whose partners have now died, often still come to the department to help. It is of course nice for a nursing home to rely on this, because those people have plenty of time after the death of their partner. They often help set the table in the department, keep demented elderly people company and give them something to drink. There is nothing wrong with that, as long as the home takes the age of those people into account and does not rely too heavily on them.
You are always allowed to ask for help with an impending burnout
Waiting too long before sounding the alarm is not wise. As soon as you notice that you wake up exhausted in the morning and that your bed still looks tempting after washing and dressing, it is time to change things. Talk to people who can help you, but not just that. Take some extra rest, treat yourself to something fun, and ensure good and responsible nutrition, so that you can regain your strength before it is too late.
Promised help takes time
Any help often does not come immediately, but must be requested and this will take a few weeks. In the meantime, see for yourself which tasks can be done less often. Not only the care tasks, but also temporary tasks at home, so that you can get some more rest. After all, your burnout doesn’t help anyone. Not your family and not the person seeking help.
Kitchen table conversations, but also conversations with the doctor
Today’s kitchen table conversations are often aimed at providing as little help as possible while still allowing the person who needs care to do as much as possible themselves. It may be a good starting point, but some older people pride themselves on saying they can do more than is actually possible. That does not work and you as an informal caregiver can insist that care is provided in a realistic manner.
Make sure you are present during discussions with healthcare providers
Therefore, always ask to be present at that conversation. This is important for the person you are an informal caregiver for, because they often cannot properly defend themselves against the chatter from the people of the municipality or the healthcare institution. He/she can become so overwhelmed that you will still have to provide too much informal care. It is therefore in the interest of the care recipient and of yourself to have a good conversation with those people.
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