The time has come, your child is going to school. Another milestone in that short life. A cool moment and yet very normal at the same time. From this moment on you will increasingly let go of your child because from now on he will increasingly lead a life of his own. Your toddler has become a toddler. A toddler is, if all goes well, a cheerful little creature. He is very aware of everything that happens in his environment, but he is not yet bothered by world problems, work pressure or other adult problems. If all goes well, he will have arrived at this phase relatively unscathed and will enjoy an exciting time. He goes to school, makes friends and plays outside without you present. In short, he is going to broaden his horizons.
This article is largely based on my own experiences, after having 3 daughters in 4 years that is quite a few. Not only do the girls not look much alike on the outside, they are also very different on the inside. We had to approach all 3 in a different way, but the result was the same for all 3: cheerful, energetic toddlers who entered the schoolchild phase without any problems.
Preschoolers
- Development
- Social
- Bullying
- The toddler
- Sport
- Independent
- Meals
- Experience world
- Conclusion
Development
Social
Your toddler goes to school and gets to know many others in one fell swoop. For some it is a big celebration, others are more reserved or even distant. But they are all curious about and interested in those other toddlers. As long as they come from a warm, loving environment at home in which they have already been taught the necessary manners, they will automatically make contacts. Don’t worry if that doesn’t happen right away, they have so many new impressions to process that they may not need a boyfriend at all for the first few months.
Our youngest, a secretive Scorpio, seemed socially underdeveloped. She was so bad that some outsiders who didn’t know our family wondered if she might be autistic. Now she was developing normally within the family (otherwise I would have had her tested) and she often indicated in advance that she did not intend to mingle with the group (I’m not going to talk anyway. And so she did). neither, not a word). She did not shy away when spoken to, but looked at the speaker boldly and piercingly, with a look that could give even grown men red marks on the back of their necks. We didn’t worry for a moment, we actually had a lot of fun about it. She didn’t come home with huge groups of friends (like her eldest sister), but the friend she eventually came home with still comes over, although it is a friendship of trial and error because when she is angry with you, she no compassion. She chooses her friends herself and if her first impression is not good, then you have little chance. Her first teacher thought she was shy, but nothing could be further from the truth, she is a strong personality who takes stock first and examines her surroundings thoroughly. The shy autistic child of yesteryear is now 12 years old and a budding singer. She performs in front of packed houses as if it is the most normal thing in the world and only fifteen minutes before her performance does she start to feel a little nervous.
In Pest
The phenomenon of bullying often occurs at this age. It is a common problem that is sometimes, wrongly, blamed entirely on teachers. Of course it is the teacher’s job to identify and guide, but parents must also take their responsibilities. Unfortunately, it is a very human trait that often arises from insecurity. How often does it happen that even adult people feel better and stronger by belittling someone else or, worse, boring them into the ground. Or in a different way. There are people who never say anything when you look nice or have just been to the hairdresser, but when your hairdryer has exploded or you are wearing old, ugly trousers, they suddenly say: Your hair looks nice or What nice trousers. Or a photo of your prices that a blind person can still see was taken from your worst angle. It’s no different with little ones, just from a different perspective, on a different level.
Bullies are often children who have not been reprimanded much. Children who, sometimes unjustly, are praised to the heavens and whose parents can no longer be objective at all ( my child doesn’t do that). Children are pure and instinctive, they still have to learn social norms. If a child can get away with anything at home, he will not learn the difference between right and wrong. Because the child is not given guidelines, boundaries and rules, he is more likely to become insecure because he has no idea how far he can go. It could be worse; some know very well what they are doing, but have noticed that they achieve what they want through lies and deceit. It’s really a matter of education. If you notice that your child is a bully, you should take very strict action. Even if you are not sure, let him know that this behavior is more than inferior and that if you catch him, you will punish him very severely.
The victims are often children who have something deviating from the average. This can be external but also internal. Man is a herd animal and anyone who sticks his head above the ground level runs the risk of being knocked down. What is strange, different, better or worse is often not accepted or at least noticed. Children are even more primitive in this regard; recognition is safety, a deviation is threatening. If you notice that your child is different (e.g. gifted or extremely insecure), teach him to stand up for himself. Some children are bullied because they look dirty and shabby. Of course, your child does not have to wear the latest fashion, and expensive designer clothing is also not necessary. But some children come to school every day in old sweatpants and a shirt full of stains, which is of course not necessary, there are plenty of cheap chains where you can put your child in new clothes for a few euros.
The toddler
Sport
From the age of about 5, the little ones usually take swimming lessons. Fortunately, teaching your child to swim is a common good practice, but unfortunately that is often the end of it. Sports are one of the most important developments in a child. Not only is exercise healthy and good for his motor skills, sport also contributes a lot mentally. He learns what ambition is, what sportsmanship is, losing and winning, it is good for his mentality. In fact, every child should play at least one sport.
Independent
He’s not a baby anymore. Your toddler is an independent being who can do everything very well on his or her own. Spread his bread, find his shoes, put on his coat, clean up his mess. Some still need some help and encouragement, but don’t pamper him, independence is a great asset and by doing everything for him you make him a baby. From this age he can also learn to eat with a knife and fork. Of course, a snitzel is still too difficult, but he can practice with his knife on a meatball to his heart’s content. By the end of his toddler years, he should be able to cut the easy types of meat himself.
Meals
A toddler can eat anything and it is now time for him to learn to eat what the pot provides. He is also getting to an age where he needs to know table manners. While the meal is often too long for a toddler, a toddler must stick to the rules. Remain seated until everyone has finished. Eating what’s on his plate. Only once he has tasted something can he tell what he thinks about it. Most preschoolers have a real sweet tooth, they prefer sweets to healthy food. However, it is very important that they eat healthy. If they junk and snack too much now, they can suffer for the rest of their lives. Maybe you have resigned yourself to your fat rolls, your child has the right to enter adolescence with a toned and muscular body (what he does with his body afterwards is his responsibility). Provide a healthy and varied meal every day. After 4 p.m. no more sweets or chips, first a sandwich with savory, then with sweet. As a baby he started the day with milk, as a toddler he started the day with porridge, try to keep this up for as long as possible. Porridge is an excellent start to the day. Your plate not empty? No ice cream, not even after an hour or even after two hours of whining. Don’t like it? How old are you? 5 years? Good, 5 more snacks and then you don’t have to anymore (of course there are things that really make him shiver and you can take that into account. Keep in mind that a toddler quickly says I don’t like it if his cap doesn’t look right , especially when he notices that he can get his way very easily).
Experience world
The world of a toddler is fairly simple and primitive, but at the same time much more complex and much more mature than most people think. His logic is formed from his cause-and-effect experiences; his actions arise from action and reaction. The more he experiences, the more he will learn and the faster his development will go. As an educator you must guide him in this, for example he must learn from you what you do not want to happen to you, so don’t do that to others, that is something he really cannot think of for himself at his age. It is very important that you take him for granted, all too often and too quickly people think, oh, he is just a child, he does not understand that. By concealing things he can feel left out, by not being honest he receives the wrong signals and learns to deal with certain things in the wrong way. Your problems are not his responsibility and he doesn’t have to bear them. That does not alter the fact that, at his level, he should know what is going on and in this way he can learn to take it into account.
Conclusion
A toddler is nothing more and nothing less than a little person. Even though his emotional life and intellect are somewhat more primitive than that of an adult, you must approach him fully and take him seriously. If you are angry with him, it is fair to explain to him why you are so angry, although you should not lose sight of the hierarchy within the family; don’t argue with him about the rules you’ve set. Be honest with him at all times, a toddler understands more than you think. There may be things you don’t want to share with him, so explain that to him and tell him why it’s none of his business. Keep in mind that the more open you are with him, the more open he will be towards you and that will be nice when he enters puberty. A toddler should enjoy his childhood happily and carefree, but at the same time he should learn that this does not only apply to him. It is important that he learns to behave socially in this phase.