Parenting is a difficult task for every parent. It becomes extra difficult when you have to raise your child in a society that strives for different norms and values than those you have from your culture. It is difficult to determine what is good and what is bad for your child, because the child is between two cultures that both place demands on him or her. How do parents of Moroccan descent raise their children? Most people of Moroccan descent live in the four major cities of the Netherlands: Utrecht, The Hague, Amsterdam and Rotterdam. Most are originally from the north of Morocco . Half of these come from the city, the other half come from the countryside. The Netherlands has three categories of people of Moroccan descent:
- First generation : this group consists of people who were not born in the Netherlands
- Intermediate generation : this group of people emigrated to the Netherlands at the age of 6-16
- Second generation : this group of people was born in the Netherlands or emigrated to the Netherlands before the age of 6
Most people fall into the first category, the first generation. This group mainly consists of older men who emigrated to the Netherlands in the 1960s and 1970s as part of labor migration. These people have founded families here, including with their own wives who came to the Netherlands in the context of family reunification.
Education of the older generation
The older generation indicates that they had a strict upbringing . The ties between the family members were warm but also authoritarian. As they grew up, girls became more and more prepared for the upcoming marriage they would enter into. They were also given many household tasks and usually no longer went to school.
Parenting tasks
Moroccan parents attach great importance to providing warmth and attention to their children. When the child is 2 to 3 years old, it has reached a milestone according to the parents, because they then start to understand more and can learn norms and values. When the child is 4 years old, it is expected to be obedient. Between the ages of 4 and 7, children learn good manners. When the child is about 18 to 20 years old, he or she is considered to be an adult and to behave as such.
Watch TV
The television is on for a large part of the day in the Moroccan family. Mothers believe that television has an educational value and also provides relaxation. As children get older, the number of hours they watch television increases. However, there are strict controls on which programs the children watch. For older children, the condition is often that homework must be done before they are allowed to watch television.
Girls
While boys spend more and more time outdoors as they get older, girls increasingly withdraw indoors and participate less often in extracurricular activities. They take on some of the household chores .
Puberty
Many Moroccan parents experience their children’s adolescence as a difficult period . Children are becoming increasingly assertive and opinionated, partly because they want to conform to both cultures. Many parents of the older generation think that they only have to provide guidance during puberty, while support and guidance are also very desirable in this phase of life.
Parenting goals
Every parent has a number of goals in mind that they want to achieve with their child’s education.
Social performance
This is the most important educational goal of Moroccan parents. This includes obtaining a diploma, having an important job or position and succeeding in society.
Social conformism
This is also an important educational goal. This includes respecting and obeying parents , being polite and showing good manners . Some mothers think it is important for a girl to have a certain form of shame and modesty.
Moral conformism and religiosity
This means that it is important to be religious and morally developed. Almost all parents attach great importance to a religious education for their children. This can be aimed at both the personal experience of Islam and the regulations. Parents think it is important that girls do not associate with people of the opposite sex before marriage and that boys only associate with good people and do not hang around aimlessly in cafes and other places.
Control and support
In general, Moroccan families have a high degree of control and support . However, this support does have some limits. For example, parents do not speak freely with their children on all topics; it is important that children have respect and a certain degree of shame. Control can take place directly or more indirectly, depending on the prevailing parenting style of the parents, which can be more authoritarian or more authoritative (more explanation and guidance, more equality).
Punish and reward
Children do not always listen well, this occurs in all cultures. Parents from the older generation often reward their children more materially than the younger generation. The latter group often rewards a child with a compliment or literally a pat on the head.
When children break the rules, the mothers warn and talk to the children. This can be in the form of sermons about good and evil, but also in a situation of consultation. In any case, the goal is for children to learn something from it.
Corporal punishment is becoming less and less common. However, it still occurs in some poorly educated families. Mothers who punish physically often find this very unpleasant, but know no alternative.
Gender-specific education
The Moroccan family structure often still follows the traditional division in which the man is the main breadwinner and the woman takes care of the house and family. Most parents would prefer their children to marry a Moroccan partner. However, mothers who have been married off themselves attach great importance to their daughter marrying who she wants and when she wants.
The daughters of the older generation are often more restricted in view of the risk of gossip and the importance of shame and virginity. Boys are monitored more from a distance and therefore have a great freedom of movement.
Sex education is usually given at the beginning of puberty. The emphasis is often on preventing pregnancy before marriage, often in the form of no premarital sex at all.
Family
Great value is placed on support and assistance in raising family members . This mainly concerns practical and emotional support and virtually no informational support. For fear of gossip , some are quite reluctant to talk about the family with others.