A stalker happens everywhere. You are constantly harassed by the same individual. He/she follows you on the street or ensures that a chance meeting takes place every time. The person also regularly calls you and bombards you with emails. It can get even worse if you are threatened and then never left alone. This can have serious consequences. It can irritate you, make you angry, but also make you very scared. In short: you no longer feel safe!
The opening phase
Some stalkers start stalking quite quietly and continue if there is no response. Others are quite aggressive and violent after the end of a relationship, for example. In the beginning you are quickly tempted to negotiate with the person who is bothering you. However, most stalkers see this as an encouragement to continue.
How do stalkers work?
The stalker can put you in a very bad light with your friends, family or colleagues. They may follow you on the street or just happen to bump into you every time. They can also visit you unsolicited, threaten to use violence, obtain information from you, damage property, deface your home, order goods on your account or post them at your home and work. Your stalker bombards you with threats and telephone terror and sometimes these threats can go further than verbal violence. He/she can also involve the environment as a whole and denigrate you to your neighbors, friends and family. The persistent stalkers are characterized by extremely controlling and coercive behavior. This behavior also says a lot about the risk you run.
The victim and the consequences
It doesn’t matter whether the stalker is active or not, fear and the feeling of persistent threats can take over your life. The longer this lasts, it will control your life more and more. The consequences are clear: fear, suspicion, extreme startle reactions, poor appetite, concentration problems, poor sleep and therefore fatigue.
Stalking punishable?
Stalking can be a criminal offence. In cases where the stalker repeatedly (i.e. systematically) intrudes on someone’s life, this is punishable.
You can report this to the police , but the following facts must have been committed:
- The stalker forces you to do something or scares you or bothers you.
- The stalker does this structurally, i.e. systematically
- The stalker does this deliberately
This is described in the law as follows;
Art. 285 b of the Criminal Code; Paragraph 1: Anyone who unlawfully systematically and intentionally infringes on another person’s privacy with the intention of forcing that other person to do something, not to do it or to tolerate it or to cause fear, shall be guilty of harassment and punished with a prison sentence. of a maximum of 3 years or a fine of the fourth category.
Notification and declaration
If you tell the police that you are regularly harassed, they can report this. Based on this report and/or other reports, they can discuss this with you to see how serious this matter is. If you then make a statement at the office and sign it, you call it a report and an investigation will start.
What can you do against your stalker?
- Create a secret telephone number and have your email blocked.
- Collect as much evidence as possible and build a file for yourself. You may need this in court in the future
- Seek support from your neighbors and keep them informed
- Show photos of your stalker to people you trust
- Try to travel more with other people if your stalker follows you around a lot.
- Make a safety plan for yourself. Make sure you can quickly grab all important items if you suddenly have to flee from your stalker.
- Do not contact your stalker if he/she tries to do so.
For more information and help, you can also visit the Victim Support in the Netherlands website